Thursday, September 9, 2010

A word from Woody...

In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!

- Woody Allen

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Leaving on a jet plane

So i found out that my lil sis (ok shes only one year younger but the 'lil' makes her sound all cute and cuddly) is off to the Big Apple in October.  Dear readers, i think i just turned a pale shade of green. Not only because she will be in New York for Halloween - New Yorkers know how to do a good costume, fact - but also because, well...its New York! So good they named it twice and all that jazz.  I've been twice already during which I got fat (but happy) on Magnolia's Cupcakes, perved shamelessly at Abercrombie models, wandered wide-eyed around Greenwich Village in a 'oh-its-so-bohemian-i-could-totally-live-here-and-eat-outside-expensive-cafes-with-my-trilby-and-fellow-bohemians" kinda way. And oh, you haven't lived until you've been to Max Brenner's Chocolate Restaurant in Union Square.  Myself and mother Bleakley stumbled across this one by accident (Lonely Planet, you can keep your guidebooks) and even though we had just eaten an hour beforehand, we decided that being the Bleakleys we were, we had a special compartment in our respective stomachs reserved just for chocolate. Christ alive it was glorious, even though it took a good two months worth of spin classes and laps in the pool to compensate for the calories.  So yes, as soon as the sis has a couch sorted i'll be there with bells on, clutching my Max Brenner reservation.  

Other news, Joey managed to let slip that he's taking me to Paris! tray tray exciting non?!  I'm beside myself at the thought of getting to meet Mickey Mouse (my favourite mouse of all the mice i'll have you know) and most of all,  having a good belly laugh at Joey's 'rollercoaster face' in the photos...which i imagine to be something like this 

Off to Belfast this weekend to see my girls and to drain my bank account of all dignity in Victoria Square - should be a good 'un after this week in which my to-do list seemed to re-populate as soon as i managed to tick anything off.  FFS.  I also get to coo at the girls swanky new flat and gorge myself in fifteens.  I still don't get the lack of love in Dublin for a good fifteen, so i will shamelessly plug them right here, to all 3 of my readers *cough*.  Go treat yourself to this lovely marshmallow-y, biscuit-y goodness dear readers, in a mere 10 mins eternal happiness is yours!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

My toilet has a twin!

'tis as random as a sock in a pickle factory alright, but earlier today i decided that just as we humans need a special someone to walk along the beach with or feed us spaghetti, our standard bog needs to feel he's not alone in the world.  So, imagine my surprise when I stumbled across run by the lovely people at Tearfund who literally want to flush away poverty.  I'm all for a bit of philanthropy to brighten up the daily humdrum of life, especially when charities think outside the box and come up with a gem of an idea like this one.  For a mere 60 squid, your toilet is 'twinned' with another in Burgundi, Africa, and a shiny certificate stating the same is winging its way to me right this moment.  

Now my guests will have something to muse on whilst they answer the call of nature, and I now have a tray tray amusing fact to share at dinner parties.  Actually, i'm going to start throwing dinner parties just so i can regale my fellow guests with this little nugget.  I can point it out on Google Maps using the grid reference i receive should said dinner guests choose not believe me and remain transfixed on their beef wellington. Fools.

Whats more, Paul Daniels has a toilet twin according to the site.  If its good enough for Mr Daniels.....